I'll have the burger...but hold the ham!

I have this friend.  I used to travel with her.  After 3 trips I realized that she couldn't be pleased, so I vowed never to travel with her again.  Apparently I'm insane...after all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results... but it was always the same..."there's nothing good to eat"; "the yogurt's too runny"; "the sand is too sandy".  (Okay, I just made that last one up...but it was almost that bad!!)  I tried to maintain a friendship with this person and went for the occasional meal figuring that was safe.  Wrong!  I remember one lunch in particular.  She ordered the lunch special which was pizza.  Pretty simple, right??  Wrong, again.  This is how the order went:  "I'll have the lunch special...but instead of pizza sauce, I'll have tomato sauce on my pizza.  Oh, and no onions.  And extra mushrooms in place of the onions I'm not having.  And no onions on the salad.  And can I have the salad dressing on the side??"  Oh, you just know that didn't go well!  Okay, so travel is out, and meals are out...but surely the occasional movie would be alright.  I mean, really, what could go wrong at a movie??  The other night I found out just what can go wrong at a movie.  She made the choice (I always let her pick...it's just easier that way) and advised it started at 6:45.  We arrived at exactly 6:45 (did I mention she's ALWAYS late??), the movie started at 6:30.  So...we're entering the theatre in the dark, the movie's already started...and it's packed!  I head to the front...there are empty seats in the third row back from the front.  It's a bit close for my liking, but it's easy...and when you're arriving after the movie has started, it's always best to opt for easy.  My friend comes behind me and eyes 2 seats in the 5th row back...but there are 2 elderly men sitting at the aisle.  I hear a real loud whisper...what I would call an "outside whisper"...ie not real quiet.  "I can't be bothered." followed by "He's got a cane!".  I immediately do an about face, and return to the 3rd row where I was ready to sit all along...but when I didn't respond, she interpreted my silence as not having heard her the first time....so she repeated "I can't be bothered....he's got a cane!".  The entire theatre must have heard her.  You ever have one of those moments where you wish the floor would open up and swallow you?  I just wanted to tell her "Do you think he just dug out a cane for the night to INCONVENIENCE YOU??  But I'm sure it would have been lost on her.  So, as I was saying...I have this friend....who I don't do anything with...

WHAT I LEARNED THIS WEEK:  I don't like high intensity.  So I didn't like "The Hunger Games".  When it was over, I couldn't get out of the theatre fast enough.  I didn't even wait for the lights to turn on...and it wasn't entirely because I didn't want anyone to see who was with the nasty woman who was harrassing the elderly man with the cane ;)